Worst case?

I had too much banked on the event it seems. More than I knew myself. I was waiting for it the whole week but when I came to it I froze, could not talk casually more than a couple of minutes. I ended up showing that I was the last interested whereas it was the opposite.

She seemed to enjoy the evening, but that's it. I ended up shaking hands at the end like usual. I have turned into a corporate worker who is no longer a person. I talk to people like I'm taking to a colleague in office boundaries.

Even at the time of writing this, I could feel the condition getting worse. Thinking has such an effect it is unbelievable.

But if that is the case, is the opposite also true. Can happy thoughts turn it around? I don't know I'll need to fish for them first. Will it all be resolved after reaching someday? I can only hope.

Contemplating

Sometimes I wonder who are we truly?

Is it what we are, or what we want to be?

Is it what we think about ourselves, or what others see us as?

Are we just defined by the pigments of our skin, or is it the light reflected back to who/what views us?

Is it by our name which we have earned from our deeds?

Is it by what we leave for the world, to contemplate for a few years?

Does anyone truly remember the mightiest champion from Olympia? First Gladiator? Creator of the concept of Kingdom? English language? Rocket engine? Keyboard?

Even if we end up creating something which defines the whole world, will we still just end up as a trivia question?

What are we really here to do on this blue planet?

Pollute it till it becomes Black? Or kill anything which moves till it becomes Red?

Yes we have duty towards our species to progress its civilization, but if we are alone in the race then why does it matter?

Why don't we just go back to eating bread and vegetables/meat two times a day, here cattles, selling hand made things and be contempt with life?

Where are the stars?

Gone are days with starry nights,

Gone are the kings with mighty knights,

With arrogance, despair, without progress,

Gone is the bright sun and its purifying light.

There was a time when less was more,

When savings were treasures,

When owning was difficult, but prideful it was.

Every coin mattered, clinking sounds were heard,

When the most humble sellers on the street were filled with joy over a day's work,

When the sweetest sound in the morning was a humble bread seller, who was just earning a tiny margin.

Money still had value but it was not the only might,

Gone are the humble people, and so have those times.

Everyday battles

I think I know why Pokemon is so popular, even more so among adults. It's the innocence, complexity, working together with the team to strategically win a battle.

Best part is the other team's Pokemon just faint, and are fine after healed in Pokemon center.

But I am not really talking about Pokemon all of a sudden. It's about using nostalgia to distract and soothing the mind. Things happen to everyone on a daily basis. You win and you lose. Problem is we don't really remember the wins as we take them for granted.

Every day is a battle, every strategy is important, every word is important, the tone, context, and especially empathy, listening and silence. Everyday is not a battle we can win with shooting word bullets. Some matters don't need strategy as well. The more you think, the more arrogant and self obsessed you appear.

Sometimes we just to need to listen and smile, and just pour all efforts in getting it reciprocated.

Approaching?

My Bus is on route, so is someday. Smiling and frowning at the same time, I am sitting in my sleeper seat as the AC duct above is a bit broken and my legs are getting cold.

I am on route to return to office as well as to make the approach. I spent a good amount of (what would've been) my nap time thinking about questions I would answer. However, I could not think more than a few questions I would like to ask. 

I don't know what the reaction or the response would be, or what would be the followup questions, but I know one thing; I have to keep this legit from the get go. Without legitimacy,  approaching is meaningless.

The thinking made me realize more about what I actually want, what I was losing by not trying to extend wfh.

I know I have been selfish the good part of my life, always giving my ideas the zenith position, but I figured out one important factor to understand what do you love the most. 

So, what do you love the most?

What you cannot bear to let go of, or forget.

How to examine, observe and judge accurately

From a high horse it is very easy to see things in black and white, but you have to understand from the ground up how is a decision going to affect the weakest of the weak.

Think outside the box, don't throw suggestions roughly but draft them properly and make an honest effort for it to be discussion-worthy.

Break things down to bullet points, tackle them one by one. If you are using data then add a source, if you are examining someone's results then look at the references they have, see if that indeed happened, and if it could be avoided. Don't just throw comments vaguely in the air just because you feel a sense of authority.

When you are wise, the weight on your shoulders to make a wise decision becomes very heavy. If it's not then you got to rethink if you're thinking it through.

Country

What is a Country? Is it the land within the borders? Is it the citizens? Is it the economy? No, a country is a piece of land a citizen can call its own, and can feel belongingness.

What is Economy? A country's treasury is NOT the country's economy. The market in a country is its economy i.e. buyers and sellers.

Do you feel a country is rich if the government has enough funds? Has good exports? Higher GDP? If these do not improve the quality of life of its citizens then none of these are quality of a rich country. Purchasing Power Parity is close but that too is more of an average. Averages never work where satisfaction is involved.

We have to think are taxes really working. Don't glorify taxes, you are not contributing to your country, you are just paying taxes to the Government. Government is not country, it serves the country.

"Mantri" term is not needed anymore, we are not subjects of a king and this is not a Kingdom. "Rajneeti" is also not needed anymore, it is the tactics to rule, and what we need is "Lokneeti". If a country is a sports team, and President/prime minister is the captain then the captain must play on the ground as well, and not be a selector.